so i get an email from fred. and he tells me everything i want to hear and proves to me that everything i felt with him was actually real. it was real. wow. i've been lucky with my men. i want to combine both their great qualities together. its so great hearing from fred and man, there are are actually great men out there! these two have been everything i've wanted yet not. they are missing that extra oomph. if they had that oomph, we'd be right now. i think i'm looking for someone real tough, real strong, real confident, is a gentleman yet a man who takes risks. but i think my standards are too high.